The examination for us have ended and soon we will have to part our ways.Soon enough we would never cross one another life anymore.Yet many say that with the current technology,nothing is impossible to overcome that problem.But they never realize what is up ahead with each individual choices they are making in the mid of December..Friendship which some called "best-friends or girlfriend/boyfriend" will soon no longer surface in their life anymore but will drown in their sorrow when a promise is never fulfill to its final end.

This planet really holds a very unique character which many never realize.We are just a mere civilization on one living planet of the solar system and yet everyday we keep destroying the nature that was once evolved to make us survive to it.Even having a satellite just like the moon,it keeps us company wherever we are in many parts of the world.It does not really matter if we are in the USA or Asia or even Antarctica region because as the sky fall to its cooling breeze starred with each different planet,we could see the moon.A moon which is giving us the light to be expressive when we look at it.Just glowing its vibrant light from up above..

I don't understand why but many disaster are happening right now and everyday there is always bound to happen.It is quite a pity to felt for their grief by having their homes to be lost and their loved one just went missing after the incident..There is no other word to describe the lost of their loved one and even to go through over and over again.It is a pain and yet they have to endure it till the end.But to me,it is still not fair.Because everyone should not make any remarks like,we are the safest nation,we are so lucky.

Why not give a helping hand instead of giving remarks which is not benefiting anyone in anyway.Pray.Monetary Donation.Everyone can play a part one way or another through organization to help those that are victims of disaster.They never asked to be victim of them but were fated so..Nothing could change that..

"Please for Once Just Change yourself.And Help Others"

I feel so disappointed in you.It never occur to me that you are willing to go that far.I am really sorry that I was fooled by you.You can call me stupid or anything but I will not take you seriously anymore.You always told me about your problems and I was always there for you to be the one that listens out for you.Maybe I should just stop helping people..But not everyone is the same right.

Once you told me something which took a lot of courage from you but now it just means nothing.I do not mind it but if you yourself do not want to take that effort to change yourself,what can I do..Force you?I am not that type of person.You can do what you want and what you like.And I would no longer stand in your way.Or even better I would cease myself from your life.Our path would never meet even in the near future.

This is life and this what we have to accept.Nothing can come easy for anyone else and every each individual have their own weaknesses.To forge a relation,it requires two individual that possess different personalities which make that relationship so unique than anyone else.But there is always a question for this,how far are you willing to go for your love one.Would you die for them when they asked you to?

Love can be found anywhere in this typical society and why I say so.It is because even the younger generation has began to understand this type of feeling.Though their love is different than the older generation.There is really no point in explaining this term love here.If you understand it then that is good,if not you just don't understand it.It is true that you wanted to secure your future soul mate and began a family but this is a very serious decision to make because we are only at this age.And such word could bring a lot of misunderstanding and disputes between the two individual families.Some of you might say get married and run off to another place.What is the point if such happiness could not be shared by anyone that knows you for so many years.

I am not trying to see lowly of this topic but it is all the actual fact and what others usually think of when this word came into their mind.Typical humans living in a typical society.There is no point for us to evolve anymore..

Even when you say that evolution does take into the process of damaging the world.But how long would this place last with our ongoing usage..

"This world is precious but why are we damaging the only place we can live on"

Right I need to get this off my mind for at least for quite some time.I know that in this world people are never perfect and yet we keep running from our problems because we do not want to face them or just don't have the courage to do so.But everytime we kept running,we are making the problem even worse than before..

Everytime people only act upon their self-interest and would do any means to get what they want.And by that it would either involve more than one person intentionally or not.It is still the same.Two wrong does not make a right.It is pointless to do bad deeds even if we were so desperate until to go to the extent to hurt another person.I know that no one can hold their self tight against this world grand stuff.For once why not give others the chance to have that special privilege than yourself..

To me,there is always one and only truth in solving a problem.And no matter how complicated it turn,believing in ourselves to overcome such challenges would not be a problem.Maybe I watched too much mystery show..Oh well.That is what keeping me thinking for now.The right path.Justice.Even when the times are hard..Nothing is impossible!

Everyone at this age typically wanted a life of their own,in other words freedom.Freedom from their parents which they would felt really free no longer constraint by age limit set by legit rules.I understand what they feel but they never really put a thought for their parents instead.I know I have always been opposed to so many ideas from them but even so,all of us have different life than other people even our friends.And yet we never realize that,we never just stop for a minute and think deep down.How hard have they tried to struggle just to bring us up.Some of you might say,

'I never asked to be born in this family',
'It was all your fault for getting married too early',
'I rather die than living near you',
'You are just hopeless',
'You just don't understand me?!'
'You think just because you are the one that gave birth to me,my life revolves around you?'

Many people would never understand the true happiness of our kind.Because everytime there is always new demands that had to be fulfill by them just to make us happy.This is what I call selfish.I am not trying to imply anything here but just to give everyone that read this post a wake up call.A family understands their own blood problems better than a friend and why is that you ask.They have gone through a lot worse than us.Even if they don't know how to crunch their numbers right when you asked them a problem sum,they know about life.

We want to be free right?Who doesn't.Well I do too.Give them time just to slowly let us go to this world and we ourselves must respect that freedom and not abuse it.This is also a part of having a trust between them.They feel that we are ready for this world and they would always be there for us when we have a problem.That is what they feel,that is what they prioritize,US!

Most parents are like that and some are not.But no one can blame them.Every parent care for their child one way or the other.

Sounds too realistic..Well I don't mind if any of you want to be stubborn and just depend on them as your source of income.It is your life and I'm here to just well wake you up.We have reach the start of the maturity age and it is time to decide on our own along with their support that is.Anything can be done with peaceful talks..

This is one of the beautiful place in a country and why is that you ask.That is because this place still holds the beautiful nature and never was alter by man.Nature has been always the one that beautify its surroundings with vibrant colors and patterns.But we never appreciated them don't we..Because money makes the world go round and not nature.And by then we would have totally destroy everything..

Everyone knows that you wanted this to happen but everytime all of us communicate,there is always a wrong message that had been said.I had tried to advice you on the things you should do.But as a friend,I can only do this much.And all I can hope is that it would turn out into a fruitful event..

We should know what is lying ahead of us.And could no longer avoid it.It is true that all of us are going our separate ways soon as nothing could change that already.Even so,the bonds we have in this present time still remains and would not easily forget one another.People would change and we cannot complain about it.It is their choice to do what they want and we just have to adapt to it..Learn and Adapt.

I always knew what you trying to say.Help those in need and those that require them but if you have that mindset,what about you yourself.I know that I can't ask you to follow my every order.But still,only a handful knows this type of emotion.Compassion..

It has been so long quite long since most of us had a peace of mind.Finally breaking free from our studies and just relax it all out...

This past few days had been quite a long and tiring day.But what I feel is that I just tried too hard for everything.I don't know why I am doing so also.Maybe it is a part of my horoscope?Or character?.Maybe just maybe it is coincidence.

Yesterday you told me you were alright but your eyes are deceiving the words you are saying.How can I believe you?A sense of hatred had grown into you and your behavior is slowly showing it's true color.But what can I do as a friend..I could never control a person's life and only wish for the best from you,even after many of your sacrifices which you called on.You never really solve the problem at hand..

Yesterday night I was stuck..Stupid right?!I don't know how to get home.My gawd..So I called Vivian to guide me home and it was a lucky thing she pick up or else I would have to take the taxi back home.Thanks to her I'm here typing away at the blog.

I could not believe you thought you were that big.Actions are louder than words.And your actions it just seems indescribable from any words in the dictionary..Never realizing the location we are in,you were only acting upon your self-interest and draw attention surrounding us.Despicable act and a regretful action by me..Being mocked by or insulted is one different thing if it is not seen by many people.Now an incident of that has just make me demoralize towards you..

Everytime and everywhere I go people would always seek for aid to help them rebuild back the things they lost.Who wouldn't want to help them..Well I would help.They are taking another chance into this world but there are something that they don't realize what they used to have.This community is always feared.And will keep living in one if none of them is changing their mindset towards a better future for every single citizens..

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush

Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
?Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain?t going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends? Is there more? Is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
?Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain?t going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain?t going away-ay-ay
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay

Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

This song entitled "Crush" by David Archuleta.I don't want to describe what it means go hear the song and feel into it..I am never a 'fun' type of person.And at some times I wish to stop acting immature towards you.That is why I always keep throw airplanes at you.I would definitely be the odd one out if I didn't..

It seems you thought we could be together but to me it is impossible.I am nothing special to you.And I have the abilities of an average person.Sometimes there are things you have to think thoroughly before making a decision because in this type of situation it would remain with you forever.Either a memorable one or regrets...Are you still willing to take the risk unlike any other incident before?

Life has been like a roller coaster for me.With my emotions either going up the course or going straight down after reaching its peak.Also I decided to just forget and start anew.Leaving the past behind.Even so,I will still remember the bitterness of the incident and would always think twice of my actions.And for once,making a right one.All of us had gone through so much even if we were divided through disputes and misunderstandings but deep down,we always had a special thing in a relation.

Hooray?..Having a celebration after the N level.But I just don't feel like it.Don't have the mood to celebrate it .What Am I typing?Boring..X.X.Rawr..Everywhere we go is always a lesson learn either it affects us direct or indirectly..Calm.Meditate.Ommm.On second thought,just think twice before I do anything to prevent any misunderstanding..Sorry to make anyone worry.Should sign off asap before I type rubbish again..

Time to be serious =0

Well our time is finally ending in our secondary school.It sounds like I'm saying this repetitively in every post.I don't say out just for fun but to remind everyone that it is the actual fact.We have so many memories and yet some were forgotten.The joyous memories and the bitterness we have held for the last 4 years could turn into a grudge or a memorable event.Nevertheless,without the possibility of going into this school,we would never have met anyone in the class.Even if either we were force to choose this school or just because our aggregate doesn't meet the other neighborhood school.It is still a chance that we had take and look where we are today.

"Chance"

I know everytime I was always being used.Because I had something which they don't have.And now I had realized how stupid I were to trust you.

Now I don't wish to be with you anymore because like I said before,I am not worth it for you.Go find some other better person to be with you for the rest of your life.

You tried to help me because I helped you before.But my situation is worse than you.Even if I tried to explain it,I just could not recall.This problem were not meant to be shared with any of you.Causing me to carry the burden alone.Each blame just keep piling up for me to clear it up..

Accidentally, on purpose
I dropped my watch behind the tire
Threw my alarm clock inside the fireplace
Yeah, and I put the parental control on,
On the news and the weather channel
I'm outside in my robe I'm looking for you, oh

If everything'd stop
I'd listen for your heart
To lead me right to you, yeah
I tried every way I can

But it's harder to hold on to your hands than the hands of time
I need a hand, girl, I'm trying to hold on
Losing strength in these hands of mine
I need you here
I'm trying to hold on
Standing here, open hands and I
Know I can't do this alone
Hold on, oh hold on
Baby hold on (to my hands)
Hold on to my hands (don't let go of my hands)
Don't let go

I don't think this is working
Squeezing so hard my hands are hurting
Ought to let go in the first place
And I put the phone on the front lawn
Everything that shows time is gone
I'm outside in this cold
Still looking for you

If everything'd stop
I'd listen for your heart
To lead me right to you, yeah
I tried every way I can

But it's harder to hold on to your hands than the hands of time
I need a hand girl, I'm trying to hold on
Losing strength in these hands of mine, I need you here
I'm trying to hold on
Standing here open hands and I
Know I can't do this alone
Hold on, oh hold on
Baby hold on (to my hands)
Hold on to my hands (don't let go of my hands)
Don't ever let me go

If everything'd stop
I'd listen for your heart
To lead me right to you, yeah
I tried every way I can

But it's harder to hold on to your hands than the hands of time
I need a hand girl, I'm trying to hold on
Losing strength in these hands of mine, I need you here
I'm trying to hold on
Standing here open hands and I
Know I can't do this alone
Hold on, hold on
Baby hold on (to my hands)
Can you hold on to my hands (don't let go of my hands)
Don't let go
Can you hold on to my hands

This song entitled "My Hands" by David Archuleta.You tried to wake me up from my own day dreaming and faced the reality.But deep down I am faced with the reality.Everyone thought that I had a great life at school or back home.But whatever all of you said is just the opposite.That is why I always tried to avoid the subject..Or just make fun out of it.Shake leg?Slack?.Yeah right..I don't even have time to do that..

It is time for us to be apart on the Graduation Day for us being together.Farewell..

Will I regret them?Ugh.I don't know

So many papers had passed since the last post here and left with up to one.I want to give out a big sigh here.Haix.Anyway this is what I have been feeling up till now.

I don't feel we should be ever together again.
We are friends.
It is not you but me.
I do not want to my burden over to you.
It is not fair.
Even if you say I am being unfair to myself.
I am still hating myself for doing my selfless act towards you.
Maybe I'm just hiding what I meant to show or tell you.
But if I did,would it hurt your feelings.
You have always brought a smile towards me and brightens up my day while I always did the opposite.
You are the positive point and I am the negative point which we could never really come to a neutral state.
It is impossible in logical term.
You can hate me all you want and I myself am hating my own.
I have tried to move on about my unanswered question.
And this is the final straw for me to keep hiding over and over again.
And every bitter moment I would remember.
And even if we had something more than just friends,I would definitely forget it.
I'm senile aren't I..

Just let me forget what I am feeling right now towards you.Let this be a forgotten and painless memories fading away as the date goes by..

That is what I hate about myself everyday.It is pointless to keep living on..I tried to make a difference but never once could it be heard.Even if I were the only one that was making such motion,it still has the name of rights and justice!I don't wish to continue carrying a knowledge without being happy for once.Not even a day!
I always thought that I was meant for something.Maybe I was just being over-expectant of stuff.And that's what hurt the most.I am just slowly killing away my self-esteem..

"Secrets..Senile"

This is it.The last day of school and left with another week for the N level examination.There are times when we laugh,goofing off,slacking,compete with one another and just socializing in class.But now is the time where efforts would come in.Even if we do want to do it or not,it is up to each individual to decide on their own path.We might never meet with one another in school again but surely in this world we would be able to cross once more.We held a friendship far that is priceless and even the memories that we have shared for the past 2-4 years in the same class felt different,special,unique.

We have appreciated with the things we have and there are times that we abused it.It is a typical school day.It had been quite worth it in spending time in school even if there are any disputes that we had made so far.Argument,Quarrels,Self-Interest,Bias Actions and fights.These are the last time we would see in an everyday school life because when our paths are divided slowly.Our future is at stake once more,never doing well would result in a bad future.And the atmosphere are just different than in secondary school.Though these were never really appreciated..

It has just been great knowing every each individual faces of the 4N cohort and hope that our path would cross once more..