Another day just like any normal day.And nothing change.Quarrel here and there.Lesson as per normal.Teachers scolding.Socializing with classmates.Doing Revision.

The time when I said something and happened made me regret in some ways.But I am usually stating the fact even if they don't want to hear it.And sometimes I don't regret it because they did not really overlook the situation thoroughly and just letting every minor problem away.Eventually this problem would just pile and pile higher making us even harder to overcome it.It is hard but not impossible.

We could always change the future with our own self.But we also need to reconcile with the opinion of the class to prevent any spark of unhappiness.

Two more school day to N level.And this is the final lap around

Everytime I read about news on disaster and people being killed.It felt so sad that the world is just taking in these soul away from this world.Are they taking them away before the world ends to save them from the misery of god's wrath?.They are innocent and there has always been sign for us to be prepare for the worse as we could not escape death ourselves.These sign have been shown through dreams,railway,roads,studies,communication,sky,clouds,crop circles.And so on so forth but did we really took it into consideration that is worth understanding them?

Today have been a great day with so many wishes from friends and colleagues and even teachers.But the most important one didn't really come first.Well,I'm not some big shot aren't I.So I shouldn't be complaining every single detail that I just don't get.

I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to my friends whom treated me to lunch today.Siti and Vivian.Both of my friends which would be there when the time are tough and even if there were dispute,we would easily reconcile.

Although it starts off with a festive mood early in the morning,I saw something.A vision once more which I again thought that it had disappear for good.And when it came up, I knew something were going to happen today and well it did.Which really just make that festive mood like any normal day.A typical day with everyone else which I usually meet.

I am someone which could not have anything that I asked.And well I'm just happy the way it is.I guess.But I thought that this day were going to be special until the strike of midnight.I guess this is just like a dream which is just asking more than what is required.

Something did really pull my emotion back,even if it was the day of my birth.I could not control what others wanted to express their emotion or anger to me but just accept it.

Some had seen me for what I really am.And gave me a thought of sympathy while there were some that just pitied me.I could not really do anything right now.Even if I were to say I have to fight my rights.And either way the consequences would be bad.

Today I also thought that what I said yesterday could really take back my words but in the end it didn't...

"Am I asking too much?."

Let me be frank here.I hate to be in a picture or photograph.Everyday and everywhere people gave me a staring look.And each time they gave me that look,my self-esteem just went down.I know I don't look nice to look at.But is it my fault?

I am just finding ways to finish my life off.

Everyday it feels so sad as the number are stroke off towards the day of my birth.It just feels the same every year.The same feeling of sadness,despair,sorrow and a great depression all at the same time.And I don't think anyone would bother to commemorate this day.Just forget me and everything,it would make your life easier down the road.

In this life,we could not have everything we want.And when we believe in our dreams,there is always someone which pulls us aback.And when the things we were wanting for our whole life we could not just get it today.There is always something which holds us back.And we have to accept the fact that nothing in life is like a smooth road..

"Give Up"

Everyone seems so confuse about their life.Not knowing what to do and keep thinking the decision they have made so far either it is right or wrong.I know that life has become tough for all of us just to accept it and move on with our life.But we still could not affect our academic just for a problem that had just came up.Soon we will be beginning our career soon and leaving behind our studies.That is when the time people would want to study and stop working.

Our kinds are very hard to be satisfied with anything.

Everyone have their own preference about the things they believe and cherish in this life.Hope,Faith and Destiny.The most common one people usually say about.The right moment of love or love at first sight,a miraculous miracle,a hope to bring about spirit from a lifeless soul.

Looks never really seems to show anything about a person character without communicating with them.You might think they are the perfect one but everyone have their own secrets not to show their weakness to others.Because if they did,it became an advantage to others against him/her.

All of us live with someone supporting us right now and usually dislike it because of the repetitive things they do just to embarrass us and their words would always be with us wherever we go.Turning into a habit,disrupting a person mentality.

This is the last week before we resume the final examination of the year.And the time where we would soon part our ways with our friends that we've been with for the last 4 years in this school..

Okay I don't know what is wrong with my body.It feels its undergoing some process.Have I contracted a disease unknown to man?Am I exaggerating?I think so.But but..I feel different than what I used to be.Hormones change?When will it stop.And excessive treatment is killing me.

Someone told me to stop my curiosity on everything and just take on the simple road which life is offering rather than a narrow and uphill one.But everything comes with a price.If I were to do that,I will have to drop my grades.Well you guys may think it is just an excuse but I could no longer adapt to the changes around me,not with my body in this state.It is killing me slowly and I am feeling the pain everyday.Sometimes I feel my body temperature is not consistent.It will dead drop suddenly and hit to its highest peak whenever it feels like it.

Urgh.I feel I'm thinking too much but I'm still worried for my own health.Even my own food intake I could not revert back before the fasting month began.Whenever I see food,my appetite just went away and when I don't see it I crave for it.I'm not "pregnant"!.Okay serious this is not a joke and it is really bad.My weight will really decrease even worse than now.

I don't know what I really should do,where is my conscience when I need it.I abuse it and now there is nothing on my mind to guide me.

I'm not exaggerating!

ARGH!

...Well even if this is the final straw..I am willing to pay the price for whatever reason.I don't really feel any remorse of my past,since I barely remember it..

"Suffocating.."

Alright it's been a while and I have been staring on the posting page for quite a few days.Nothing happen lately so I have nothing to blog about.

People are all busybody aren't they?
Even if it were to be our own relatives.
They put their noses into which they don't really belong to
Who doesn't hate them right?

Anyway,I don't really have the mood to celebrate this festive month but just play along for this few days only.Tomorrow what will I have..

[Tomorrow]Tuesday-Physics/Biology Mock Examination
Wednesday[Common]-History SBQ
Thursday-Chemistry Mock Examination
Friday[Common]-History SEQ

After going out with my family later,I should really start studying for the upcoming examination and tests.If I flung,they would blame on the "Hari Raya Mood".

Well till here

"Conscience"

Will continue on the next post for the above notation.Sounds friendly don't I?

Okay it's an ice cream picture and you guys would think that I would be talking about food.Well I'm not.A lot have happened and some mistakes were decided.You see this ice cream as a tempting,mouth dripping food but do you even know what it would taste like before tasting it?

Okay so this is how the story of the ice cream goes,if you understand it or not..

An ice cream is processed and ensure that it remain its special sweetness and remain frozen for people to enjoy the treat as it was called "Ice cream".If you were to change its holding place to somewhere rather warm,what would happen?

It would melt right?In Scientific term,the heat is used to break the intermolecular forces of attraction.Well don't bother that term.By common sense,it would definitely melt but what would be altered.

Taste?
Quality?

Right you guess some of it which is the important point of this story.What you know is that because of that simple mistakes of changing its holding place cause everything which used to hold that special delicious treat just taste differently.

Because they are the one who controls the quality of it and we are the one which would destroy every each individual quality just because of the wrong mistakes they did.They don't come cheap and must be appreciate of the flavor they possessed and could not only favor the one that they loved the most only just by its taste.

-End of Story-

Well,if you get what I'm trying to say then I congratulate you if not just try harder and read it thoroughly.

It seems that this mistakes had been profoundly made by someone which is the maker of the ice cream and we are just following what is being told and of course there would be some losses on the ice cream either by mistake of proper closure or some pests to disrupt its quality.That's another story.

Anyway,like I said this doing was wrong causing upheaval to everyone.Even if they don't see it,it is understood and reacted there.

I feel that I'm no longer useful in this place and have made my mind to go away from this place.Sometimes I feel that I loved myself too much until in the end I am the one that suffered the most.Just because I wanted to take everyone's pain away from their life.It is affecting my social status and life all together.I'm mentally disturbed and I could never really find peace in here.Because just as that moment were to come,something is bound to disrupt it.

The 'N' level has ended for its first part and will resume on the following month.All of us will be in a bad state because of the pressure of days we are left with..Who understands me?!I don't feel like doing anything.Just day-dreaming would be the best.Every part of me is disappearing away and I don't feel belong anywhere anymore.

Your guidance is always misled or lacked of and although you thought you had established the perfect rule between our relationship,you did not expect the unexpected.That is not our fault but yours for being simple-minded on life and put your faith on the ancient.

We might have a so called "close-relationship" but it had already been tampered ever since we last met and is leading us to nowhere in the future.Always negativity surrounded the conversation

For someone who is so close to me,your actions had deceived me and I had no one else to turn to anymore.I feel so useless.Who will hear my problem.I guess no one and I'll just let it consume me alive..Whatever.Life is absurd!

"Peace to corruptibility.This is what nature had turned into "

What I loved about music is that musicians expressed it through the songs.All of us have our own liking in each genre of songs..

The results are out and it seems alright to me.Yet the N level is coming in two days time.Just hope that there is time to prepare for it.

Life have been the same and the ongoing fasting month seems different then previous years which I find it quite interesting.Anyway,people are growing up slowly,well that's better than nothing.And the expectations never fail to be there in every each individual examination.It is pointless to alter that kind of situation.

I used to see the world as cold
So cold
I always felt so all alone
Ooooh

How did you know you'd find me here? Yeah
How did you ever see behind my tears? Yeah
i never realized how anyone can make everything so right
A heart so sad

You brought me back
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You give me something to believe in
After all that we've been through

The love, you give, it all comes back to you
You give me something to believe in
You can see the real me
And here, with you, is where I'm meant to be

(Guitar solo)

I don't have to imagine anymore
Ooooh
Ooooh
All the time it was you I was waiting for

Ooooh
And here we are together side by side
Oh yeah
And nothing seems impossible tonight (Tonight!)

Ooooh
Yeah
You looked inside my heart (Inside my heart)
And seem to get me from the start

We've got the chance (the chance)
To make this last

You give me something to believe in
After all that we've been through (Hey!)
The love, you give, it all comes back to you
You give me something to believe in

You can see the real me (You can see the real me!)
And here, with you, is where I'm meant to be (Yeah!)
With love so
So high above

High above the high
Now we realize
Feeling so alive
All !!!!
it takes is love

To find us (Guide us) off
The way
That's the one thing that can Trust
All we need is love

To reach our
Show our
We belong here together!!!!!!!!!!

(guitar/bass solo)

You give me something to believe in (Something to believe in!)
After all that we've been through (After what we've been through!)
The love, you give, it all comes back to you (Comes back to you!)
You give me something to believe in (Something to believe in!)

You can see the real me (You can see the real me)
And here, with you, is where I'm meant to be (Yeah! Oh, Yeah!)

This song entitled "Something to believe in" by Nickelodean Original Hit Movie Spectacular.It's a great song and like I typed earlier on these kind of musician have their way to connect with the audience through the songs they wrote.And that is how they capture the hearts of their targeted group.

Everyone needs someone to believe in them to do well in whatever they want to be when they are grow up.Ambitions.Dreams.All of us would not be satisfied until our goals are achieved in life and become who we really want to be.Though life is full of disappointment,we should not give it up until the very end.That is the fighting spirit of a human.To win at all cost.Well generally of course.

When we are down who do we look for or the nearest one that is there for us.Family.They are always there for us or they thought we would.These adults don't understand the mind of teenagers.They are wise.I knew that.No matter how many times people keep emphasizing on me.We have our own rights as soon as we get older.

It seems that you have beginning to start your lies towards me.I see you differently and yet you lied to me.Your actions were too suspicious and I had no choice to bring you down even if you are that close to me.I am truly sorry.Life is really full of disappointment.I never really thought that you would do this..Well whatever..Let that trust diminish if you really wish so

Everyone wants freedom right
Achieving everything they desire